Dream Analysis and Fearing Your Own Greatness

Posted on July 15, 2020 by Cath Deans

Image by Todd McLelland

I wrote this post by sitting with an empty mind and asking inwardly what to write. The following is  what came through, with no editing.

Conscious Being Awareness – What is it?

I had a dream last night in which I was riding a bike that was falling apart.  None of the individual parts of the bike were attached properly. They were just kind of slotted in or on with no nuts in place to stop them falling off. As I rode the bike, I had to concentrate on cycling carefully to keep it all together. At one point, as I was cycling downhill on cobbles, the wheel fell off and I fell off. I found the wheel, put it back on and carried on cycling in that same careful way. Strangely, falling off didn’t hurt.

I was also aware of being followed, it felt like someone was stalking me and I had to be clever to lose them. The strange thing is, is that I have no idea where I was headed. It felt like aimless rushing; a need to be somewhere else but not knowing where.

So, as I write this, I don’t know why I am telling you about the dream. I don’t know where this writing is going. I am just following what I am presented with in my mind. When I picked up the computer it was because I felt something was lurking just on the edge of my thoughts, and it wanted to be written.

[I shut my eyes and ask inwardly again: what I am writing? The ideas are given and I continue]

I am reminded that I had been pondering what gets in the way of creativity. What stops me from being productive? I had just had the thought that the names of the days of the week was one thing that blocked me. You know, because it is Saturday I need rest. I am tired on Saturdays and need rest because Thursday and Friday are busy days. If I didn’t know it was Saturday and if I had no recollection of what I had done the day before, would I feel the need to lounge around and be ‘unproductive’?

So, what does the dream mean or represent and what has it got to do with the days of the week? When I ask inwardly, I get the sense that the dream illustrates the compulsion we have that we should always be moving towards something else. We should be better, improving, going somewhere, achieving something, creating experience. Our mode of travelling is precarious, deliberately so. We are careful in the way that we travel as we know that if we are not, everything will fall apart. Our way of travelling will come apart. But, no matter how carefully you try to cycle, the road will shake you and your vehicle will fall apart and you won’t reach your destination. The thing is, there was no destination. There was only ever the journey. And when you fall, you find that it doesn’t hurt.

So, what about the stalker? (Again, I ask inwardly because the me inside me knows all the answers. She’s even the one giving me the questions 😉.) The stalker is me. I am observing myself. So, why did I want to get away from her? Why did I feel a bit scared? Because I felt she demanded things from me. She thought I was something more than I believe I am. Someone worthy of attention. She believes I am amazing and of course that’s creepy and weird because I am not. I try to escape that expectation because it is uncomfortable. She feels kind of threatening. It’s a fear of people believing that I am amazing because I will only disappoint. Like a stalker who obsesses about their prey, they are deluded and dangerous. It feels also like a fear of being cornered and restricted. A fear of becoming a victim of someone else’s control.

This leads me to a feeling of aloneness as I travel precariously on my badly built bike. As I cycle, navigating around people is dangerous. Having to steer around people and slow down on my course of movement means that, again, everything could fall apart. They threaten to destabilize my journey.

So, what has this all got to do with Conscious Being Awareness and it being Saturday?

It is time to get off the bike. Stop trying to get somewhere. Stop trying to balance and achieve in a life that is not connected. If we did not know what day it was or what day it was tomorrow or yesterday, we would feel no need to achieve something by tomorrow or next week or whenever. If there were no concept of time what would we choose to do in each moment in each day? How would we change if we did not think about time at all? I think it completely changes our experience of life.

I have been doing this with amazing results and yet still, every now and then, I insist on getting back on the bike to go some place I think I should be headed. It’s a compulsion that has become weaker the more I have consciously connected. I have been working with my clients in this way for years and I believe that this is why the sessions work out so well. I have no plan, when I facilitate my sessions. I don’t try to steer them anywhere. I just begin, listen inwardly and respond intuitively to what my clients present me with. Many of my clients learn to live their lives in this way, with amazing results.

My clients inspire me and show me my own potential for greatness. They show me that greatness is in all of us when we relax and stop fearing. I am reminded of the stalker in my dream so I ask inwardly: ‘what has this to do with the stalker?’. I am told: ‘Don’t be afraid of your greatness’. And then I wonder, what if the ‘stalker’ in my dream was trying to get me to stop cycling for good reason? What if they were right to believe I was amazing? What if they were my inner self trying to be heard? But why did I fear being controlled by them? I ask inwardly again and I am reminded of how much I resisted the idea of surrendering to the universe. It has taken me years to accept that I have no control and that the universe does. It has taken me years to figure out that I am the universe. This is all so paradoxical.

We are not in control. Not in the way we think we are.

We are not who we think we are.

When we are conscious of ourselves as awareness of experience, rather than controllers of experience, we can enjoy letting go of the idea that we were ever in control. We can stop listening to the compulsion to be somewhere else, somewhere better. We can stop trying to carefully balance, to keep everything from falling apart. Trying to keep going on that unconnected bike takes so much effort and concentration. It’s exhausting. Let go. Find out what happens when you stop trying and just be. Forget what day it is. Forget what time it is. Forget trying to get to where you think you should be headed. Go inside your mind and ask: What do I really choose for myself right now? Let the answer come from the heart and not the head.  The answer may surprise you. Or not. Whatever it is, trust it. Don’t judge it. This is conscious being. This is the start of Conscious Being Awareness.

I had no idea what I was going to write about. But which ‘I’ is that, that didn’t know? There was an ‘I’ that obviously did. I listened to her, as I have learned to trust her. She is very wise. She seems to know what is best for me. The outer me doesn’t need to know. The outer me just needs to be a trusting listener. 

So today, even though it is Saturday, I have been a little bit productive. I have written this. As I said, I had no idea what I was going to write. If I had insisted on knowing, before starting to write, I wouldn’t have got to the end at all. Insisting on being in control would have got in the way. I like this conscious being awareness. I dare you to try it.

If you would like help to listen inwardly to your wisest self then drop me an email. It may just transform your life.

cathdeans11@gmail.com

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What’s Wrong with Mindfulness?

Posted on June 22, 2024 by Cath Deans

Being Present in the Moment

Mindfulness, as it’s commonly practiced, teaches us to be present in the moment. This is great if you’re constantly worrying about the future to the point of paralyzing anxiety. But is mindfulness merely a way to avoid confronting those scary “what if?” scenarios that seem all too real? These thoughts don’t just disappear; they linger, waiting for a chance to flood your mind, like a horror movie playing on repeat in your dreams.

Don’t get me wrong, training your mind to be aware of your thoughts and stay present in the moment is valuable. I used to be an over-thinker, perpetually lost in thoughts of the past or future, missing out on the richness of life happening right now. But I am now mostly aware of what thoughts are playing in my mind and can choose to change the topic to the here and now, and I am happier and more peaceful for it.

Full Awareness Without Judgement

How often have you felt irritated when someone interrupted your internal planning or rumination? This is especially common for parents. The mundane tasks of childcare — cleaning up messes or mediating sibling disputes — can feel frustrating. But when you bring your full awareness to these moments without judgment, you can find joy.

Cleaning up can become oddly satisfying when you focus solely on the task at hand, free from thoughts of the rights or wrongs of the situation, or whether you would prefer to be doing something else instead. Resolving disputes with your full presence and without preconceived judgments allows for compassionate connections and effortless solutions.

The Pitfalls of Clock Watching

Have you ever felt bored or frustrated because you were yearning for a future moment? Watching the clock at work or sitting in traffic, impatient to get home does nothing to change your situation. This anticipation often stems from fear -fear of being late, of losing precious time, or of missing out on happiness and achievements. However, projecting into the future often stems from the limiting belief that life must meet certain conditions for you to be happy.

Beyond Surface-Level Mindfulness

Using mindfulness techniques to distract from distressing thoughts about the present or future doesn’t address or release the underlying limiting beliefs. It merely silences them temporarily. Along with my colleague Andrea Atwell, we have practiced years of inner listening, to the source of wisdom and truth that resides within us all. We have also had the help of a Turkish donkey, who was a master of mindfulness, but that’s a whole other story!

The important thing that we discovered, from quieting the mind and listening inwardly, is that true mindfulness goes beyond choosing which thoughts to focus on; it involves being willing to fully experience all thoughts and feelings without judging them.

Conscious Being Awareness

We call this deeper practice “Conscious Being Awareness.” It’s about accepting everything present in your mind and body at any moment, not just the easy or pleasant thoughts. This full acceptance leads to real transformation and a growing sense of peace with yourself and the world around you.

Seeking True Transformation

Facing your fears and judgments can be tricky and scary, which is why it is difficult to find apps or YouTube videos that promote this deeper level of mindfulness. While many self-help apps and videos aren’t necessarily wrong in what they offer, they are unlikely to lead to the profound transformation you seek. For lasting relief, you may find it helpful to find a mentor, teacher, or therapist to help you identify and experience your thoughts without judgment.

The Real Meaning of Mindfulness

So, what’s wrong with mindfulness as it’s commonly practiced? Maybe nothing. But is it enough? Perhaps being temporarily present in the moment is enough for you. Because one day, in that peaceful moment, you might hear the inner teacher who reveals the true essence of mindfulness.

Ready to Transform Your Life?

If you are ready to go beyond surface-level mindfulness and experience true transformation, I can help. As a Conscious Being Awareness coach, I will guide you through the process of fully experiencing and accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Together, we can uncover the inner wisdom and peace you seek.

Contact me today to start your journey towards genuine mindfulness and lasting inner peace.

catherine-deans.co.uk Enquiries

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COVID 19, Isolation, Connection, Video Calls and Hypnotherapy

Posted on March 24, 2020 by Cath Deans

I am writing this, my first blog post, to tell anyone out there who is struggling to cope with the anxiety of these uncertain times, that I am still here and ready to help. If you are trying to find a way out of whatever cycle of emotion or behaviour that you feel stuck in, then l would like to explain how I can work with you over the internet to help you find your way out.

Let me tell you about hypnotherapy over video call. For starters, I am no computer whiz. Far from it. The technical side of things is not complicated at all. Trust me, if I am saying that, it really can’t be. So, if the technical side of it is so easy, why was I not confident about it? Let me explain.

I have always enjoyed going to my office to meet ordinary people like me.  I have loved hearing about these ordinary people’s extraordinary lives, because here’s the thing, everyone has a unique story. I have loved that sense of connection and compassion I feel when people talk honestly about what they are struggling with. I enjoy it because, no matter how challenging the individual’s experience is, whilst listening I know that I can offer them a way forward, to guide them out of their stuckness. I enjoy it because I am good at it. I make a difference. Life doesn’t get more satisfying than that.

I value the quality of connection and transformation these one to one sessions have afforded. So, it felt like an unnecessary risk to work remotely, through video. I doubted that it would be possible to get such a good empathic connection with clients through a smartphone or computer screen. I wondered how well I would be able to work without seeing every detail of the flickers of facial muscles that communicate the emotions of the person before me. What if I couldn’t see those tiny changes to the breathing  or the sudden stillness in the body that tell me so much about how my clients are responding to my questions and suggestions? I had become very sensitive to all of these visual cues over the last 22 years and worried that without all of them I would not be so effective, that I would miss an important response.

It took a request from someone in another part of the world to make me brave enough to try my first video call session of hypnotherapy. I had been recommended to her and it didn’t feel right to refuse this request for help. I do believe that when someone approaches you for help, there is a reason why they have asked you and no one else. The universe knows what it is doing when it places someone on your path. And anyway, she was used to online meetings with her colleagues, so she wasn’t fazed by conducting the session over the internet. Her confidence gave me confidence. It’s infectious you know.

So, we connected through Messenger text chat initially, arranged a time for the session and at the allotted time I called her with Skype, simply because that was what she preferred.

At first it did feel strange. I felt myself concentrating hard in an effort not to miss any detail of what and how she was communicating. I was very conscious of the thousands of miles that separated our physical bodies. But then as time went on, I began to relax, and my therapist instinct took over from my conscious thinking brain. By the end of the session I wasn’t thinking about the fact that she was the other side of the world anymore and I felt just as much connected as if she were in my office in Huddersfield.

This session and subsequent sessions were amazing and satisfying and I have now learnt to fully relax and enjoy meeting with clients online. I have continued working with other clients, via the internet, in various locations around the globe and these sessions have also been incredibly successful.

So how did I manage without all those clear visual cues?

Around five years into being a hypnotherapist, I became aware of a kind of psychic connection that happens during sessions. I am not talking about communicating with those that have passed, but of an inner knowing of what the client is thinking, feeling, remembering or needing without them saying a word.  Since then, I have got used to having these sense impressions of my clients’ experience. But now, during video calls and with less reliance on visual cues, I have become more sensitive to that invisible connection that exists.

This first online session made me realise, even more than ever before, that we are beings of energy that are sensitive to each other in so many unseen and unheard ways. I found that, instead of seeing  physical and emotional reactions in detail as in other face to face consultations, I felt them. At one point I experienced a strange sensation in my chest, and I told my client that. This was exactly what she was feeling at that moment and finding that out helped me to identify something important and achieve the transformation I expect in my sessions. 

If you think about it, I am sure you will have experienced this same connection with others in your life. For instance, have you had the experience of someone popping into your head to be immediately followed by receiving a text from them? Or you wonder what your partner would like for tea and the first thought you get is the right one?  It’s easy to put these things down to coincidence but the more you clear your mind of thoughts the more you notice these impressions.

In these times of physical separation, remember that we are connected in mysterious non-physical ways. When we think of others, I am convinced they feel it on some level. And of course, there is always the internet too. What a powerful combination and crikey do we need it now!

If you are struggling to cope mentally or emotionally with something, a habit you wish to break, a goal you wish to achieve or anything else you think I may be able to help you with, then give me a call, send me a text or an email. Connect with me, I’ll help you with the technology if you need it and let’s see where it goes. 

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